BENJAMIN UNBUTTONED

My Peruvian ID expired (as well as my Uruguayan ID and passport), and so I feel like a character in a movie set in an Eastern European country during the Cold War, who, unable to speak the local language, is about to be detained by the police and then arrested.

Though I tried to fix my Uruguayan situation while I was vacationing in Punta del Este earlier this year, I wasn't able to for two reasons: 1. I took too long to start the whole renewal procedure (I was having too much fun) and 2. Uruguayan bureaucracy has not evolved, nor does it show any signs that it will any time soon (and their employees are apparently hell-sent).  Pretty much like the Miss Argentina character in Beetlejuice, remember her?



IN BEETLEJUICE HELL, THOSE WHO COMMIT SUICIDE ARE CONDEMNED TO WORK IN PUBLIC SERVICE FOR ETERNITY.  TIM BURTON IS A GENIUS.



Anyway, I must plan a quick trip to Montevideo some time soon in order to get all of this solved.  You see, Uruguayan law has it that in order for me to renew my passport I FIRST have to renew my ID.  Why not renew my ID at the Consulate in Lima?  Because you simply can't.  This is something that MUST be done in the actual country.  I know, it's ridiculous.  I cried, I wailed, I had a tantrum.
"Why bother so much for an Uruguayan passport?" you might ask, like some of my Argentine friends sneered back in Punta.  Well, you see, there are a couple of reasons.  One is that I actually want a physical element that makes the link to my mother's country of birth official.  Two: there are benefits from having it, such as not needing a visa for the U.K., Italy, France,Spain and many other European countries.  And believe me, having lost my diplomatic passport privileges when I turned 25 (someone hand me a tissue please), it COMES. IN. HANDY.  I've never had to ask for a visa so I'm really unfamiliar with the whole process and I've heard it's usually an unpleasant experience. 

IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING, I STILL KEEP MY DIPLOMATIC PASSPORT BECAUSE IT HOLDS MY US VISA.

So, back to Peru.  I went to get my Peruvian ID renewed.  There was a huge line.  I left.  I decided I'd come back another  day, hopefully before the elections in April, ha!  I already had my picture taken though, and on my way back home, as I stared at it and placed it next to the one on my expired ID I thought to myself : GOD have I  AGED!  Not that I am not happy with the way I look now (I think I'm more comfortable with myself today than I was then), but I the signs of this certain "maturity", so as to call it, were undeniable.
In a very 1989-1999-The-Next-Best-Thing-mirror-scene kind of way, I found a blog's (thank you Matt Rettenmund) side-by-side comparison of a picture of Madonna at the Vanity Fair party on Sunday and another one of her at a book signing in 2000, where she actually looks younger TODAY.  I discussed the Madonna situation with a dear friend of mine from Buenos Aires and he said it was a case of "Benjamin Button", and that he too "suffered" from that syndrome.  He kept me laughing for a while when he sent me some ridiculously, terribly photoshopped pictures of himself to prove his point.  I then had to do my own side-by-side comparison and realized I do NOT have that condition.  Unfortunately.

DARK CIRCLES! 2011 vs. 2005

I had another nostalgic moment today that took me back to a bit earlier than 2005, precisely to 2003.  I had a wonderful cardio workout today to a song from that year.  It was on repeat for a while, and as I listened to it, it brought back many memories: parties at my favorite restaurant, a silver Beetle, a rooftop party, the friends I used to hang out with back then, those who STILL hang out with me now, a hat party, etc. etc.  I originally thought my picture had been taken in 2003 as well, so I thought "what a fortunate coincideeeeence...", but no, I was confused.  So, just for confusion's sake, let me post the song.  The End Starts Today (Tommi Sunshine Remix), by Bis .

VOI DANSA CU TINE

I was over at a friend's house a few days ago, after my lunch plans with two other friends got canceled after hours of waiting for them. We decided to have a chill afternoon, nibbling on sandwiches and munching on cookies while drinking coffee. All of this went on while we watched Casino Royale. Now, you might think I'm talking about the James Bond movie starring Daniel Craig, but no, this was a 60's satire based on Ian Fleming's famous character.

The movie had an incredible cast, including former Bond girl Ursula Andress, David Niven, Deborah Kerr, Peter Sellers, and even Woody Allen. The main reason why we chose to watch it was because my friend held it as something really close to his childhood, especially because of the movie's soundtrack, composed by Mr. Burt Bacharach himself. Though I wouldn't label the movie as a must-see, it does have certain visual and musical highlights (like the sultry Look Of Love sung by Dusty Sprinfield).

However, what was most important was the fact that my friend was able to share this film with me.
Getting to know your friends through what they like and what made them happy during their childhood years is probably one of the things I cherish the most, it's like catching up with them in retrospect. Photographs, movies, and music among other elements have the incredible ability to take us back and forth through time. I have just been witness to that today when I found a video of one of my favorite Romanian singers from when I was a kid. Though I didn't recognize it at first, once I heard the chorus I could not help myself from letting out a HUGE sigh. I remembered I actually owned this tape, that she -Angela Similea- had a daughter that went to the American school together with my older sister, and that I had spotted her on the street once.

I'm so happy I found this video. To top it off, she is introduced by none other that Corina Chiriac, my other super-duper favorite Romanian singer, whom I managed to see live at a concert back then (until I got an upset stomach and had to be taken out of the venue, ruining the moment for my parents). That's why I'm not having kids. Here it goes:

SANTA BABY

So, Christmas is only a few days away and I'm not in a very Christmas-y spirit yet, though I am looking forward to cheating on my diet on the year's cheat-day par excellence. I had been thinking about what I'd want to get this year (somewhat inspired by the HILARIOUS videos by Drew Droege's impersonation of Chloë Sevigny) and so I came up with a list of things I would like to get and then narrowed them down to the following five (in no particular order):

NUMBER 1 : A TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME VEGETARIAN.
Santa MUST know I've been single for quite a while (insert Dalí's The Persistence of Memory here, or a video of a tumbleweed, or a cricket sound...or...never mind, I think I made it clear), and though I have broadened my standards, a friend recently reminded me that, once upon a time, being a vegetarian was an essential requirement.

EXAMPLE: CHRISTIAN BALE.

NUMBER 2: DINNER WITH MADONNA. Or lunch, or breakfast or brunch! Whatever it may be. Oh, and I need to be able to bring my friend Paloma along as well to make it complete. You see Santa?! I'm learning to share! (But let me figure out whether she really neeeeeds to sit with us at the same table or if she can just watch from afar).

I CAN SETTLE FOR PIZZA.

NUMBER 3: THE FABERGÉ EGG I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE I WAS 8.
I SO behaved that year, and I still didn't get it. I was so distraught. Of course, maybe Santa had a hard time deciding WHICH Fabergé egg to bring me. I was never able to make up my mind as to which one was my favorite and I never specified, so I'll give him that, but today I feel like I should probably have the one with the lily of the valley theme since they were, together with narcissus, my favorite flowers in my garden in Moscow (I think I'm just going to have to rush to the closest perfume shop and sniff some Diorissimo for nostalgia's sake).
Seriously, Santa, it's been 22 years...

(SIGH)

TINY PORTRAITS OF NICHOLAS II AND HIS FIRST TWO DAUGHTERS, OLGA AND TATIANA

NUMBER 4: MATTHEW MORRISON'S ABS.
No further explanation necessary.

NUMBER 5: NO MORE BULLFIGHTS.
This might sound like a party pooper to many, but it would make me SO happy. I would give up all of my other gifts just for this one.

So Santa, I've kept it VERY short this year. I'm not asking for much. Here's a little video that will help you realize how insignificant the things I'm asking for are. Please don't let me down...AGAIN.
Tootles.
ROGER

SHE'S A GIRL

Meryl Streep turns 61 today.  As I have mentioned in previous posts, I think her greatest asset has been her versatility as an actress, it has been essential to becoming the icon she is today.  With so many movies to choose from, here's a clip from one of my favorites:

À LA FIN DE LA RUE

I remember visually "quoting" the scene from the following video a few weeks ago. It is probably my favorite moment from GOLDEN GIRLS. Though I wasn't a die-hard fan of the show, I do have fond memories of watching it and having many laughs at Rose's stories of Saint Olaf and at the way Blanche Deveraux charmingly managed to address the vanity in each and everyone of us.
I have turned 30, I've said this over a million times, I know, and as "the physical interferes, everyday more..." (your daily dose of musical drama here), I couldn't help but recreate this scene in front of a couple of friends some time ago, like I said at the beginning of this short post.
I just found out Rue McLanahan has passed away today, leaving Betty White as the only living Golden Girl. I simply felt the need to post this video in her memory and as a tribute to her most memorable character. Simple and HYSTERICAL. Love it. Enjoy:

Eyes, hair, face, image, all must be preserved...

Still life displayed forever, no less than she deserved.
Aging: it has come to be a frequent topic in my conversations. As I mentioned before, I am approaching thirty, I'll be turning 29 in April. Last night, at a birthday party, eye soothers, facial creams and other sorts of hope-infused ointments were part of what I discussed with my friends, along with Flashdance, nostalgia, remembering how all of us had met, and the breaking news of my blog (I haven't told that many people about it yet but I have now included it in my web info on Facebook).
To add on to the topic, I was watching a Madonna special on TV, and it included a recent post-plastic surgery interview. Now, in order to create some background for what I'm about to say, I need to make clear that I'm a HUGE Madonna fan. Ever since Dress You Up (which means I was about 4 then). I love her. I was lucky enough to see her up close during the Confessions Tour where she grabbed my hand at the end of her perfomance of La Isla Bonita and made my trip from Lima to Boston (especially for the concert) worth every penny and more.
OK, so I love her, and I will definitely have posts in the future just about her, but after watching this interview and her "new" face, I think she's made it clear that she is now officially old. It's a certain look, the high cheekbones, the eyebrows, something about this "young" appearance that comes across as a clear statement that she has reached a certain age. I don't know if I'm being clear here, but, I no longer look at her and say "wow, she looks amazing for her age" because plastic surgery just makes those calendar blocks evident. I'm not against plastic surgery AT ALL, I might go through it myself in the future, but I hoped Madonna would stay looking fabulous and plastic-surgery-free forever. That just goes on to show you how hard it is to please everyone when you're a public figure.
On the other hand, after thinking about all these things, I couldn't help but watch some clips of one of my favorite movies ever, Death Becomes Her. I seriously consider this movie a masterpiece, from the AMAZING performances to the script to the humor, I can't help but laugh like crazy every time I watch it. It's one of those movies that if you had to make a selection of highlights, you'd probably end up selecting 95% of it.
The opening is just hilarious and Meryl Streep confirms the fact that she is one of the greatest and most versatile actresses of our time. The set, the decoration, the choreography, the mix in musical styles and, of course, the lyrics to the opening song make this scene kitsch to the max (please pay attention to the feathers coming off her boa) and part of that 95% I was talking about.
Enjoy.