BENJAMIN UNBUTTONED

My Peruvian ID expired (as well as my Uruguayan ID and passport), and so I feel like a character in a movie set in an Eastern European country during the Cold War, who, unable to speak the local language, is about to be detained by the police and then arrested.

Though I tried to fix my Uruguayan situation while I was vacationing in Punta del Este earlier this year, I wasn't able to for two reasons: 1. I took too long to start the whole renewal procedure (I was having too much fun) and 2. Uruguayan bureaucracy has not evolved, nor does it show any signs that it will any time soon (and their employees are apparently hell-sent).  Pretty much like the Miss Argentina character in Beetlejuice, remember her?



IN BEETLEJUICE HELL, THOSE WHO COMMIT SUICIDE ARE CONDEMNED TO WORK IN PUBLIC SERVICE FOR ETERNITY.  TIM BURTON IS A GENIUS.



Anyway, I must plan a quick trip to Montevideo some time soon in order to get all of this solved.  You see, Uruguayan law has it that in order for me to renew my passport I FIRST have to renew my ID.  Why not renew my ID at the Consulate in Lima?  Because you simply can't.  This is something that MUST be done in the actual country.  I know, it's ridiculous.  I cried, I wailed, I had a tantrum.
"Why bother so much for an Uruguayan passport?" you might ask, like some of my Argentine friends sneered back in Punta.  Well, you see, there are a couple of reasons.  One is that I actually want a physical element that makes the link to my mother's country of birth official.  Two: there are benefits from having it, such as not needing a visa for the U.K., Italy, France,Spain and many other European countries.  And believe me, having lost my diplomatic passport privileges when I turned 25 (someone hand me a tissue please), it COMES. IN. HANDY.  I've never had to ask for a visa so I'm really unfamiliar with the whole process and I've heard it's usually an unpleasant experience. 

IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING, I STILL KEEP MY DIPLOMATIC PASSPORT BECAUSE IT HOLDS MY US VISA.

So, back to Peru.  I went to get my Peruvian ID renewed.  There was a huge line.  I left.  I decided I'd come back another  day, hopefully before the elections in April, ha!  I already had my picture taken though, and on my way back home, as I stared at it and placed it next to the one on my expired ID I thought to myself : GOD have I  AGED!  Not that I am not happy with the way I look now (I think I'm more comfortable with myself today than I was then), but I the signs of this certain "maturity", so as to call it, were undeniable.
In a very 1989-1999-The-Next-Best-Thing-mirror-scene kind of way, I found a blog's (thank you Matt Rettenmund) side-by-side comparison of a picture of Madonna at the Vanity Fair party on Sunday and another one of her at a book signing in 2000, where she actually looks younger TODAY.  I discussed the Madonna situation with a dear friend of mine from Buenos Aires and he said it was a case of "Benjamin Button", and that he too "suffered" from that syndrome.  He kept me laughing for a while when he sent me some ridiculously, terribly photoshopped pictures of himself to prove his point.  I then had to do my own side-by-side comparison and realized I do NOT have that condition.  Unfortunately.

DARK CIRCLES! 2011 vs. 2005

I had another nostalgic moment today that took me back to a bit earlier than 2005, precisely to 2003.  I had a wonderful cardio workout today to a song from that year.  It was on repeat for a while, and as I listened to it, it brought back many memories: parties at my favorite restaurant, a silver Beetle, a rooftop party, the friends I used to hang out with back then, those who STILL hang out with me now, a hat party, etc. etc.  I originally thought my picture had been taken in 2003 as well, so I thought "what a fortunate coincideeeeence...", but no, I was confused.  So, just for confusion's sake, let me post the song.  The End Starts Today (Tommi Sunshine Remix), by Bis .